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Friday, March 23, 2012

Saving Your Marriage or Making It Even Better! - Part II


Part II: Understanding Personality Types Is a Very Effective Method of Saving a Marriage According To National and International Expert Dr. Allen McCray


Effective communication, insight into each others' personality type provides each spouse conflict management and resolution skills between the couple, and a deeper level of intimacy are the benefits to knowing your personality type and that of your spouse.
Awareness of your personality type gives you insight into your emotions that are driving your behaviors.  This, in turn, provides you with the ability to develop self-management techniques that will allow you to control your emotions and gain a higher degree of credibility with yourself and your spouse.  The same is true with knowing your spouse’s personality type.  Just this awareness alone provides incredible hope for the reversal of the marriage moving towards divorce and into a more intimate relationship.
Every individual’s personality is complex in many ways.  It involves thoughts, emotions, passions of the heart, and the manner in which they make decisions.  A lack of awareness of your personality type or that of your spouse will not only increase the likelihood of irreversible damage to the marriage but, many times, as a result of salvaging a dying relationship, one or both of the spouses will try to force themselves or the other to act in a manner contrary to their personality type.  This is very destructive to the individual in that they are not able to experience the joy and rewards of expressing their authentic self.  A loss of self, confusion, a lack of ‘baselines’ to make decisions can be the result of this and can take many years of hard work to recover their awareness of their true personality type and act accordingly.
Everyone has a personality type and with each type comes strengths and weaknesses.  It also defines your emotional desires and needs.  Understanding your personality type and that of your spouse will allow the two of you to strengthen each other where weaknesses exist and learn to respect and honor each others' strengths.  Both of you will become more aware of each others' emotional desires and needs.  As a result, each of you can adjust the manner in which you attempt to meet those desires and needs resulting in higher levels of satisfaction for both of you.  It is just as satisfactory to know you are effectively meeting the emotional desires and needs of your spouse as it is in getting yours met by them.  Everyone truly enjoys being in a win-win scenario and that is what this creates in a marriage.
There is a crucial step in this entire process.  Both parties must authentically agree to seek outside help that they can trust.  Dr. Allen McCray has proven himself to be worthy of this type of trust with countless marriages that he has coached through the discovery of their personality types and are now experiencing the intimacy a marital union can provide.  His coaching techniques include performing personality type profiles, developing effective communication techniques with each other, and facilitating a couple through the secondary stress so they can manage or resolve the initial stress as a team.
For more information, contact Dr. Allen McCray at www.allenmccray.com.  Your marriage is worth the time and effort it will take to save it, and, more importantly, each of you deserve the happiness that you can gain by learning your personality type and the personality type of your spouse.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Saving Your Marriage or Making It Even Better!


Part I: Understanding Personality Types Is a Very Effective Method of Saving a Marriage According To National and International Expert Dr. Allen McCray

Marriage, even in the best of circumstances, can be very trying for a couple and those intimately involved with them.   The evolution and growth within each spouse’s personality type continues to grow independently and in relationship to the other spouse.  As well, the marriage continues to move through a growth cycle of its own.
A couple who may appear to have the perfect marriage to others because of their time together, laughter, and enjoyment of each other, may well have something happen in their marriage that threatens the very core of their vows to each other.  Stress, whether it manifests internally in the marriage or is the result of an external force, can create breakdowns in communication that, many times, results in inaccurate assumptions about the other partner’s emotional needs, thoughts, and actions.  Many times stress causes a reversion to ‘safety zone’ behaviors determined by the person’s personality type.  This is when knowing your personality type and the personality type of your spouse becomes extremely important.  A lack of awareness of your personality type or that of your spouse will result in a larger breach in communication and understanding each other as the stress levels in the marriage increase because now the initial stress is causing a secondary stress of dissatisfaction between the spouses.
A couple who is truly committed to each other and their marriage will do anything to salvage what they once had after they recognize what is occurring.  Many will try traditional marriage counseling or marriage retreats to no avail.  Suddenly, they are facing a decision they never intended on even entertaining.  Suddenly, they are considering divorce.  A large percentage of couples that desperately seek ‘just one more method’ and find a therapist or coach, such as Dr. Allen McCray who is capable of assisting them in discovering their personality types, discover they can re-establish the integrity of their marriage.  Through the discovery of the personality types each spouse brings to the marriage, they find a refreshed and more accurate understanding of each other.  The secondary stress of dissatisfaction between the spouses’ begins to decline drastically and they begin dealing with the initial stress as a team, once again.   
Understanding your personality type and the personality type of your spouse facilitates the re-building of the marital relationship in a more intimate manner.  This course of action has proven to be effective for thousands of couples.  These couples have found that prior to discovering their personality types, even during the best of times as a couple, neither had the emotional, mental, spiritual, or physical intimacy they have after they discover their personality types.
For more information about Dr. Allen McCray or this type of approach, go to http://www.allenmccray.com